December 12, 2013

I never sat on Santa’s lap because I thought he was an a-hole. These kids agree. These kids are my people.

Last week one of my readers sent me this photo of her kids visiting Santa and it had me laughing so hard that I decided it would be fun to gather photos from more of you. Then I thought to myself, “Princess Unicorn, wouldn’t it be awesome if you had a contest for best photo and gave the winner some stupid prizes that they in no way need or comprehend?” And then I said to myself “YES! Yes it would totally be awesome, you sexy thang you!”

So I’m doin’ it.

I sifted through about 100 photos and narrowed it down to 14 because that’s my favorite number. NOW I need you guys to vote on the one you like. Please post your choice (by #) in the comments. Voting closes Saturday the 14th at midnight central standard time. I will post the winner in Facebook Monday and email them privately. If I don’t hear back within 24 hours the prize will go to the runner up (and so on and so on and then eventually I’ll just keep the damn prize for myself because holy crap, you guys, you need to get your shit together).

Please vote only once or we will all think you’re a douche-hole and Santa will send his reindeer to poop in your yard.

(P.S. The Rogers family are not part of the contest but they will totally be getting something from me too.)















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126 Responses to “I never sat on Santa’s lap because I thought he was an a-hole. These kids agree. These kids are my people.”

  1. Tiana Said:

    The Santa in #7—– WINNING!

  2. Carly Said:

    Holy balls! My kiddos made the cut! My vote is obviously for #6!

  3. Kathy Said:

    #7 – Jolene wins! HANDS DOWN!!!

  4. fairyoddmother Said:

    #1 – I love the progression of the shots. It totally cracked me up!

  5. Nicole Said:

    #7 Looks like Santa is crying too…lol

  6. Bonnie Houser Said:

    7 because santa is cracking me up with his reaction

  7. Quinn Said:


  8. Laurie Said:

    #10. The sneer on Santa’s face makes the photo.

  9. Candi Said:

    you’re all nuts… #1 all the way!

  10. Michelle Wos Said:


  11. Sarah Anderson Said:


  12. Michele Kusel-Reynolds Said:

    #7 Made me laugh until I was crying!!!

  13. heather Said:

    #1 I belly laughed!

  14. gayle langford Said:


  15. Kelly F Said:

    #14 OH MY GOSH. That kid is M.A.D at the world!!

  16. Cori Said:

    #7…Santa wraps this one up.

  17. Erin Said:

    7 is the clear winner here, but I keep cracking up over number 4. Love that kid’s expression.

  18. gayle honnold Said:

    This is hilarious! And soooo hard to just pick one..I cant stop laughing! Ok, ok…#7 is priceless!

  19. Haylee Said:


  20. Amy Horn Said:

    #12 I just love the whole passive/aggressive thing going on there, kids are masters at that!

  21. Stacia Said:

    #11.. Santa’s facial expression is hilarious πŸ™‚

  22. Chanin Said:

    #7 for sure. Love it!

  23. Tina Said:

    #5 The kids are hysterical BUT the non-helping,bored elf looking on is priceless!!! Laughed so much!!

  24. Brook Burlando Said:

    #6 – too funny

  25. Chondell Said:

    Totally #7 because Santa is too jolly to let a screamer get him down

  26. Traci Ahart Said:

    #7- I am lovin’ Santa’s face.

  27. nichole c Said:

    #4- the look on that boys face is great!

  28. Jessica Said:

    Definitely 7.

  29. Charlene Said:

    Holy gawd, I gotta go with #7. All three expressions are priceless!

    I guess I should of submitted the one from when I was little, picking at the healing chicken pox scabs in my crotch.

  30. Christina Said:

    Getting selected for the top 14 is an honor. #5.

  31. Kathleen Said:

    #4 is pretty awesome. I love that little boy in the middle’s face.

  32. Shannon Ratcliffe Said:

    #5…classic and the elf was a huge help :-/

  33. Kathleen Said:

    #8!!! I actually giggled when I seen this! The terror on her face says it all!

  34. Linda Harrison Said:

    #7 is great. I can’t imagine what kind of legal or illegal substances I would need to do this job. These guys are crazy to do this every year! LOL! I remember when my kids were little and we did this every year. It gives me such a warm feeling to see them struggling with their own children now…yes revenge is sweet!

  35. Hilary Said:

    #7 made me bust out laughing!

  36. Tina S. Said:

    #1. Definitely #1.

  37. Aimee Georgeson Said:

    #2!!! My favorite Christmas picture!!!

  38. Corine Said:

    #7 rocks!

  39. Nicole Knight Said:


  40. nadine Said:

    #7 not only is the kids super funny but Santa is laughing which makes it 100 % better!!!

  41. Mandi Said:

    I vote for #5!

  42. Rebecca Osborne Said:

    Definitely number one. Poor little gal. Thanks for sharing these photos ladies.

  43. Jeanette Said:

    Number 7. Although I love the Santa in #11and #1- Both kids had to be loud, yo!

  44. Cheryl N Said:

    #7! Looks like Santa had had it too and is sobbing along with the poor little girl who can’t escape his clutches.

  45. Lori Cox Said:

    #3!! Love Santa’s look AND the little boy!!

  46. Janet Said:


  47. Denise White Said:

    NUMBER SEVEN! Yes, #7!!
    EPIC in every sense of the word!!

  48. mandi Said:

    NUMBER 5!!!

  49. Darlene Fuhrmaneck Said:

    I choose number 7 because it looks like Santa is throwing a fit too! πŸ˜€

  50. Tammy Hauk Said:

    They all made me laugh hysterically, but I have to say #7 cracks me up every time I look at it.

  51. Carrie S Said:

    OMG! This is so hard! But, #7 Santa is laughing his arse off as the kid is desperately trying to get away, all the while, little sister looks quite perplexed.

  52. Holly Said:

    These are sooo funny. I have to go with 7.

  53. debbie Said:

    7 -I almost picked 8 because red is one of my favorite colors and I want to at least give my girl the props but Santa must get peed on and screamed at, beard pulled and that screaming kid thinking she has to sit in Freddie Kruegers lap on 7
    with the screaming support of santa wins – run girl run!!! Santa you are the bomb for taking it with a smile!!!

  54. Vivian Beene Said:

    Ok, I say #7 also but boy oh boy was #1 a close one for me!

  55. Nichole Biffle Said:

    Has to be #7…… Even Santa doesn’t want to be a part of that mess lmao

  56. Jamie Said:

    1 or 7 def

  57. Amanda Said:

    #7 is freaking awesome!! I feel just as bad for Santa as the kid!! Lmao

  58. Billie Said:

    #5 FTW

  59. Jackie Said:

    I’m gonna have to go with #7… Great kid hysteria with bonus of Santa looking like he just got kicked in the undernads. πŸ˜‰

  60. Kathy Said:

    #7 FO SHO!!!!!

  61. joeyzmom Said:

    OMG!!! Hands down has got to be #13! The look on Santa’s face is priceless and the the little boy’s melodramatic reaction is perfect!

  62. Kathy Robinson Said:

    No. 7. Even Santa is crying!

  63. Angela Said:

    #5, Christina’s. not only is the kid great, but Santa is creepy and the lazy elf sitting there watch the whole thing go down makes it priceless!

  64. Aimee Said:

    #7 wins for me but oh my word, Santa’s expression on number 11 is fricken hilarious!

  65. Eric Said:

    #6 hands down the best!

  66. Angel Chang Said:

    7 all the way 13 was my runner up

  67. Lisa Enlow Said:

    #11, #13 & #14 had me rotflmao but #7 is so funny I nearly wet myself & it has my vote.
    Honorable mention goes to the elf in #5 who made me howl & the brothers in #6 who, if anything, perfected both their shrieks & looks of terror from the 1st pic to the 2nd – well done boys!!

  68. Lisa Enlow Said:

    They can’t be paying those Santa’s enough…

  69. Carlye Said:

    #7! Hilarious!

  70. Cathy Said:

    These are hilarious! They are all good, but I think #1, followed closely by # 6.

  71. Jessie Said:

    I will say #12. Love the indifference there! What a legend!

  72. Marie painter Said:

    Number 7-bc Santa is upset too!!! Lol lol

  73. daphne grant Said:

    #7 is good, but I gotta go with #10. Santa’s got a look that says, “Why do I keep doing this?”!

  74. TJ Said:

    #7 – Santa’s face is awesome!

  75. Sara Hall Said:

    #7 hands down. Trying to figure out if Santa islaughing or if got a hernia from keeping the kid in his lap!
    Plus the name Jolene makes me want to sing Dolly Parton πŸ™‚

  76. mari Said:

    # 11 made me laugh, Santa’s face is priceless

  77. Christy Said:


  78. Reen Savage Said:

    Number 7 takes it for sure!

  79. Carrie Said:

    OMG #7 had me peeing in my chair!!


    Santa is damn near as funny as the kids…Jolene has a winner there, hands down!!

    (Jolene I love you for making my morning!!!)

  80. Julie Said:

    #7! Santa puts the cherry on top!

  81. Debbie Said:

    #7 is IT!! Santa totally made that picture! Love it!!

  82. Belcheryl Said:

    I love #8;) so freaking funny!!!

  83. Danielle Said:

    #7. But #5 tells a great story lolol ok final answer #7

  84. rebecca Said:

    #7 Santa made it a winner he’s like why am I cursed with the looks of Santa! Lol love them!

  85. Kelly Said:

    Fricken hilarious. We have similar pictures of my guys when they were little. My vote is Jolen #7 . Santa is like Phuck this noise! Get these kids OFF! LOL!

  86. Evenstar Said:

    #7 totally!

  87. Helen Said:

    I pick #1.

  88. Audrey Said:


  89. Becky "the great" Donnelly Said:

    Number 1…..cute as shit

  90. Christal Roberts Said:


  91. Jolenemtyler Said:

    #7!!! My kid is awesome!!!!!

  92. Loree Said:

    My pick is # 14, I was seriously laughing out loud, with #7 as a close second. So hard to choose, they are all great!

  93. Mandy Said:

    Number 1

  94. Louise Said:

    #8 for sure.

  95. Hollie Said:

    #7 can’t tell if Santa is wailing or laughing, but whatever he is doing makes the pic.

  96. Courtney Said:

    #11 because Santa looks like he LOVES his job

  97. kelby Said:

    #11 For sure! Anyone see how hes holding the kid?!

  98. Lisa Phillips Said:

    #7. That Santa.

  99. Amanda Said:

    I vote for#7! πŸ˜€

  100. Jamie Said:

    #11 Nichole! LOL

  101. Nichole Said:


  102. Dawn Said:

    #7 for sure.

  103. leah Said:


  104. Rebecca Said:

    Hands down, #7!!! Did Santa get kicked in the sack or what?

  105. Lesa Forbis Said:


  106. Jill P Said:

    #1…….Because I can’t get it out of my mind……I NEED to know what Santa said to little girl to make her take off running by 3rd frame!!! LMAO!!!

  107. Jennifer Said:


  108. Lauri Jo Said:

    I personally always hated Santa too and cried every time. I have no photos of my oldest daughter with Santa because she would not even get close and I didn’t blame her so why bother! She also would cry every Christmas Eve at the thought of him coming into our house. My second daughter loved him so much that when I tried to take her back she cried! She is 9 and still believes in Santa 100%!!!!

  109. Natasha Said:

    # 8 πŸ™‚

  110. Charity Said:

    #7 – first of all, its half of 14 (and yeah I’m a numbers freak too) – but mostly because Santa is cracking me the hell up. Number 14 is a close second for me only because Santa looks like he’s from Miracle on 34th Street plus 100 lbs.

  111. Ashley Said:

    #7 is straight amazing! Cracked me up πŸ˜‰

  112. Mary Eelkema Said:

    #7. Reminds me of when my kids were that age. Great Santa.

  113. Vikki Said:

    For sure #8

  114. Lori Kistler Said:

    This better work because it was not simple to vote, #14

  115. Rachel Said:


  116. Amy Said:

    #7 Santa looks like he is crying lol

  117. Jess Said:

    #7 all the way!! SANTA totally made this picture and the screaming girl the crying Santa and the baby just like huh??? LOL

  118. Dian ivey Said:

    11 has my vote. Clearly Santa has had enough.

  119. Jenni Said:


  120. Lynda Said:

    #8 all the way!!

  121. Jennifer Said:

    #7. Even Santa is flipping out lol

  122. Donna Bennett Said:

    #7 definitely. When you can get Santa to scream, it’s a sure winner!!

  123. Shannon Said:

    I love #11 because I’m not quite sure what Santa is going to do to the kid! My guess is throw it across the room!! LOL

  124. Denise Said:

    #6 two years in a row!!

  125. Jamie McMillan Said:

    #7 for the win!

  126. Caitlyn Johann Said:

    Pity Santa why all kids are crying hahhahaha..These pictures remind me when I was a kid I was also like this lol then Santa Claus gave me candies for me to stop crying, I also enjoy seeing this

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