September 5, 2012

I think it’s time to hide the razors.

So there’s this thing going around on the interwebs lately where people are shaming their dogs. I can’t be sure how it started, or what kind of amazing genius started it, but I could probably find out on google if it weren’t for the fact that I am a lazy turd and I really don’t care that much. What I DO care about is that it is an amazing idea. In case you didn’t know, most animals can’t talk. Sure, some birds can. And sometimes when you are on your morning walk one might corner you in an alley and start flirting with you, and then the very next day trash talk you because you wouldn’t go out with him and nobody will believe you until one of your friends goes on a walk of their own one morning and it happens to them. But most animals? Most animals can’t talk.

Since I was getting such a kick out of this whole shaming business, I decided to do it to The Cat. Let’s face it, if anyone needs shaming, it’s her. She owns up to none of her a-holey behavior, and believe you me, she has lots of a-holey behavior. In keeping with the theme, she was a real jerk about letting me put this sign on her and she had to be held pretty tightly by The Boy. Way to go proving my point, Cat.

And I refuse to sit still while taking my punishment because I totally think I’m above it.

After I realized that I was going to need help getting the feline to hold still, I yelled up to The Boy (who was playing video games at the time) and said “Hey! Do you wanna help me shame the cat?” And to be perfectly honest, I totally thought he would ignore me due to the fact that he always ignores everything when he’s playing video games. But not this time. This time he immediately yelled back “SURE!!!” and turned off the game and came running. Admittedly, I was like WTF just happened? Cuz that was highly unusual behavior on his part since I normally have to ask him for help with anything at least 1,296 times and on the 1,297th time use threats to sweeten the pot.

So The Boy came running downstairs and said “Where are we gonna shave her?” So I said “What?” And he said “You said I could help you shave The Cat!” And I said “No I didn’t! I said Shame! SHAME The Cat! Not shave! We are not going to shave The Cat!” And he said “Oh come on! Can we shave her. PLEASE? It will be fun!”
So here is what happened to The Boy:

I like this shaming thing. I like it a lot.

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21 Responses to “I think it’s time to hide the razors.”

  1. Amy Swanson Said:

    My seven year old little princess (term used very lightly here) wanted to experiment on the goldfish–which led to an hour long conversation about animal testing–maybe I should throw some shame her way! Love the blog!!

  2. cameron sims Said:

    it would be awesome to live in your household, we could do all kinds of crazy crap and get away with it. i enjoy your humor very much. keep up the good work crazy lady !!

  3. Mediocrates Said:

    I totally love you.

  4. Anonymous Said:

    Hey, Mediocrates! I quote you all the time. Weren’t you the god who said,”You are what you drive!”?

  5. carrie baxter Said:

    Tears…in my eyes…

  6. Mirene Said:

    I LOVE how your mind works just like mine~!

  7. Rock Star Mom Said:

    when you do decide the shave the little fur ball make sure to post the pics!

  8. underachieverblog Said:

    Maybe I could do the same to some of my staff at work!! Like “I used the toilet and didn’t wash my hands. But it’s ok, because I sniffed my fingers after and they didn’t smell”

  9. Chrissy Fountain Said:

    That is seriously hilarious… and disgusting.

  10. The Brady Bunch on Crack Said:

    Love this!!!!!!!!!! Just a little too much actually…because I have a lot of kids to mess with…hmmmm

    Plotting their shame as I type


  11. Angie D. Said:

    I am sooo starting this at my house!! With 4 kids and 2 dogs, there should be lots of shaming.

  12. Kat Said:

    Just one word… AWESOME!

  13. Amanda Said:

    you make me laugh every single day thank you so much!

  14. Anonymous Said:

    Actually shaving the cat is quite fun, we had a long haired cat once and I couldnt stand the cat hair everywhere so I came up with the genius idea of giving her a “haircut”…it could be fun, and like you, got an enthusiastic helper, my daughter, SO we first gave kitty a benadryl, and giggled sneakily till it kicked in, well drowsy kitty got a VERY interesting hair cut becuz halfway thru we got bored with the whole idea and abandoned the job, but the funny thing was she had shaved stripes, paths and patches which made her look totally ridiculous and stupid! poor kitty! she didnt seem to care but everytime company would come over, kitty was embarrassed, but we got a laugh out of it.

  15. Miracle Man Said:

    I had no idea what shaming was I was hoping it was similar to shaving lol. However this was awesome too!

  16. Charity Said:

    I actually saw a parent do this to their kid at a Cracker Barrel once…the sign said “I like to talk back and have a sassy mouth”. Ouch. But the way you do it is freakin hilarious. I want our guinea pig to wear a sign now.

  17. Nadene Said:

    My 7 year old daughter’s sign would read “I like to sit on people and fart” *sigh*

  18. Annabellz Said:

    Well you got your son to respond… did you get him to do a chore or maybe two?

  19. Michele Johler Said:

    Haha I like the shaving idea better!!!

  20. DysFUNctionally Blended Said:

    That’s awesome.

  21. Anonymous Said:

    Lol x 100. When u said u called him and he stopped his video game n came running (but u had NOT mentioned food) I thought ohhh yay this is gonna be juicy. cuz I hv a son n he reacts same as yours, especially when playing video games. “i called u 8 thousand times! What took u so long?” oh…sorry, I was in the middle of the game n didn’t wanna die. I’m like yeah ok I get that but in the game ya don’t die for reals…he knows too well what a pushover I am about punishments….but ohh how I luv this idea!! I lost my voice n told my hubs that I was gonna just start holding up signs “stop hitting him/her” and in other hand “i dont care who started it” LOL

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