Wow, you guys. You’ve really done me proud! I want to thank you all for going balls to the wall with me on this O’Mara Revolution. I can safely say that we have officially and overwhelmingly shown him the love. And you know what? He totally seems to appreciate it. But he is such a nice guy that for alls I know he may be pretending to dig it when he’s really curled up in the fetal position scared shitless cuz (a) he thinks I’m a total wacko, and (b) his quiet little Facebook page is starting to get all funkified. Mostly from me, but some other weirdos are shaking things up too. I think he used to read all of the posts, but now he probably gets about a quarter of the way through a thread and needs to lay down and have a valium. Yep. That’s hows I roll.
And I know I’ve said it before, but this guy is a really, really, really nice guy. This is what he posted yesterday:
And you know what, you guys? Imma give this man those freakin’ lessons for freezies. Although I did tell him that it would be super awesome if he’d send me a koala bear. Ya know, since he’s in Australia and everything. I think those dudes pretty much dangle from every tree down there, which makes for easy pickin’. At least that’s how I imagine it. And also in my imagination, if a k-bear slips and falls, he’ll safely land on one of the many unicorns who frolic under the k-bear trees, and the two of them will go ride a rainbow slide and nap together in a cotton candy cloud and call each other mate. But I digress….K-Bear or no K-Bear, I’d teach this man The Pidge for free any day, any time.
So I was obviously big-ass surprised that he posted something so flippin’ nice again. THEN someone told me that he tweeted this:
And while I am too techno-tarded to fully comprehend what a tweet is, or where it goes, or what it does, or who reads them, and why they’re so short, etc…I super duper greatly appreciated this as well. Although it wouldn’t have killed him to stick a “cute” in there somewhere. Just sayin’. (And I finally decided that I MIGHT start twittering or whatever, like some of you guys have been hounding me to do forever. But we’ll see how it goes.) And Mr. O’Mara, I hope you don’t mind that I’ve posted these quotes from you. I’m all done now. From here on out I’ll try to refrain. And don’t worry…everything we talk about it our private emails will stay private. Unless you get super-mega famous this fall and The Enquirer wants to pay me for them. I’m not interested in money, but if they’ll give me a couple of Finger Monkeys or Teacup Pigs, I’ll do whatever they want.
I’m totally kidding about the private emails, you guys. Probably.
So after my last blog where I wrote what I like to think was a pretty fantastic synopsis of what (I think) this show is about, I thought to myself: Hey-Cute, Talented, Hilarious Patti Ford….The so-called “advertisers” over there at FOX might need some help explaining the gist of such a high-concept show to the masses, i.e. ding-dongs like us. So I took time out of my super busy schedule that includes doing nothing, then eating, then Facebooking, then making fun of strangers, then doing nothing, then getting confused about something and/or distracted by something, then doing nothing, then beating up hobos, then eating again, to make this ad for the show. And I think it really explains a lot.
You’re totally welcome, FOX. It was my mother-effin’ pleasure.
So anyway, I want to thank you guys for doing what I told you to do. I am now trying to think of what else I could have you do now that I know you guys totally have my back. I love you all. Some more than others. But I love you all. And on that note…Even though I love you guys, stop sending me your lists of famous people you wanna make out with. No, I am not gonna use my sassy, spunky wit to get them to dry hump you. Not. Gonna. Happen. I just can’t go around flashing my witty charm to every jack-hole with a SAG card. Then I’d basically be a whore. But with less herpes and more vaginal elasticity. Not everyone is as nice as Jason. I’m about a million percent sure. (But Paul Rudd, if you wanna call me to dispute that, feel free. I still wanna have you over sometime to watch John Hughes movies and paint each-others nails.)
So now for the winner of the O’Mara Revolution Contest. The “Life On Mars” DVD’s go to Jesica Atkins Fox of Zionsville, Indiana. Congratulations Jesica. And yes, her name has one “s”. And no, I am not a moron. Well, I am, but I DO know how to spell Jessica. Just FYI. So Je-one-s-ica, please email me using the link at the top of my blog so I can get your address and send you the DVD’s. I promise I won’t use that information to stalk you or anything like that. Probably.
And while I was making Mr. Omara’s Revolution poster, I made this one for myself. And I think you all know how perfectly it suits me:
Not you guys. Just the jack-holes and douche-wagons. You guys ROCK!