October 22, 2010

Listen Up People….I’m So Not Kidding.

If I see any of you guys wearing these boots, I will personally organize a mob of ugly boot haters to chase you down with pitchforks and torches, much like those people chased Frankenstein in that movie that freaked me out when I was a kid. And we will hold you down and remove those big-ass fur balls from your stupid little feet and set them free into the wild where they can once again have the freedom to hunt and forage and run and dig burrows and howl at the moon. If I see anyone in Never In The History Of The World Cold Enough For Boots Like This Houston wearing these, especially when I am having PMS, I will personally wrestle them from your feet all by myself, because when I am PMS-ing and pissed, I have super-human strength and am much more prone to being irritated. Actually, the only people that should be wearing these boots are people who are living in igloos in some remote part of Alaska, as yet undiscovered by modern day man. And these people would wear boots that they made themselves due to the fact that undiscovered, remote, Alaska-living peoples would not have access to an Eddie Bauer catalog or a Mastercard.

What I’m trying to say, you guys, is that these boots are stupid.

By the way…Just yesterday I was bragging to my friend that I feel like I’m finally understanding how to work my blog. I have managed to change my address to a shorter one (www.insanemombrain.com) which is awesome because I could never remember my old one, and when people would ask me what it was I usually told them the wrong one because yes, I am that stupid. But this morning for some reason my dear old blog sent you subscribers yet another old entry and I have no freakin’ clue why. While I try to find someone who can help my figure out why my blog is doing things all by itself (I’m guessing it’s somehow alien-related), lets just pretend that I re-sent that blog because Halloween is coming up and we look extremely scary in those photos (click here). Hopefully some miracle will happen and I will figure out what is happening soon, but in the meantime be patient with me if you get anything else you’ve already read, and if I go missing or anything, try to get in touch with David Duchovny so he can get an X-Files posse together to hunt me down. I know he’s pretty busy lately doing drugs and having orgies on Showtime, but if you ask him nice he just might help. Thanks.

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One Response to “Listen Up People….I’m So Not Kidding.”

  1. Jennifer Said:

    I have to agree with you. I think these are the dumbest looking shoes I have ever seen. And I live in West Virginia where it is completely acceptable to pick up anything that has been pancaked by a vehicle and either (a. eat it, or (b. make clothing out of it. Even we aren’t that backwoods and hillbilly. It looks like a wooly mammoth attacked her legs and somehow got tied around them. Yesh.

    Love the blog by the way. I am a brand new mom brain subscriber and decided to go back and read all your previous blogs.

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