May 25, 2010
I am having a jealous day today. which is kinda stupid since I just finished up five fun-filled days with my friend, Kim. Since Kim came to visit me from Missouri for almost the first time ever, I had a great excuse to do lots of things that would make other people jealous. I got to go shopping. I got to spend more hours by the pool with frozen drinks than I can count. I got to spend a day in Galveston. Childless. I got to eat out alot. And, of course, I had the perfect excuse to go back to my favorite place. My Wonderland. The Drag bar. And this time I saw even more awesome things than the last time.
Beyonce’s man(ish) twin? Check. Drag Queen who removes and twirls wig during the rockingest part of the song? Check. Tranny in head-to-toe white lace see-through catsuit? Check. Real live tranny pimp in purple suit and hat? Check. Real woman peeing in a urinal? Check. And ladies, just so you know, those little short jumpers you are all wearing this summer? They have been fully embraced by the Drag Queen community. Personally, I have refused to wear one due to the fact that (a) They were a staple of my wardrobe between the ages of 5 and 10, i.e. before I had boobies and a period, and if you wore it before you were ten you should never wear it again, and (b) They would make me feel like I was wearing a baby onesie and (c) I don’t wear anything that forces me to get completely naked just to pee. But now I have a (d) to add since I have proof positive that they are being worn by the Drag and/or Transexual population. I love my Queen’s girls, but I don’t need to dress like one.
So, after all that fun, why am I having a jealous day today? Because my cousin (or, more specifically, Steve’s cousin’s wife) had something amazing happen to her yesterday. Something I can only dream of happening to me. While stopping at a crosswalk she had a naked man cross right in front of her. Dear Universe, You know I write a blog and Anne does not, therefore I find this completely unforgivable. If anyone should have a naked man strut across their crosswalk it should be me. Sure, I once saw a naked man driving around with a parrot on his shoulder but that was before I wrote a blog. Now is the time, Universe. I am in need of weird stories to tell. Anne makes jewelry and exercises alot. What’s this story gonna do for her? Ya think she’s gonna design a charm bracelet with naked man parts on it as a tribute too crosswalk man? I highly doubt it. But me? I would write a love letter to you, Universe, for sending me such an amazing gift. I would be infinitely happy. Please and Thank You.
Anyway, although I didn’t see a naked man crossing a street, I still had a fun weekend. And Kim and I did do something nice to commemorate her visit and our enduring friendship. We went to Target and had our portrait made together. We think they turned out well…
This is the real us. Personally, I think we look better in the Target Photos…
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