September 30, 2009
Today my friend Stephanie and I went into Hollister. What is going on with this store? It is so dark that I can barely see any of the clothes. The music is so loud you can’t talk. I felt like I was drunk, slipped a roofie, and wandered off during a rave party and got lost in the walk-in closet of a rich frat boy. I was sure that I was going to be sexually assaulted at any moment, but I could never ID the perp because I was blind as a bat in there. For one brief moment, a small ray of light somehow made it’s way into the store and bounced off my watch, shinning a bigger beam of light onto a top, allowing me to actually see that it was cute, and I decided I would try it on. After bumping into 2 walls and tripping over a plant, I finally made my way into the dressing room. Shockingly, it is also dark in there, except for one bright spotlight that shines in the middle of the floor. At this point I felt as if my roofie had taken full affect and I was on some stage, topless, against my will. It was all very discombobulating. When I was finally able to get the top on and see myself in the mirror, I realized something: These clothes are made for tiny teens with no boobies, because my girls were not about to be contained in this “cute” top. I looked like I had been attacked by the aforementioned frat boys, and my clothes torn half off. Suffice it to say, I learned today that I am too old for all the teen stores that have taken over our mall. I also learned that you shouldn’t let your young daughters go in there either. If you wouldn’t drop them off on frat row, don’t drop them off at Hollister.
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