September 30, 2009

Beagle Stalker

I am being stalked by a beagle. This dog won’t leave me alone. I would call the number on his collar, but do you think he has one? Hell-to-the-no. This annoying dog has been at my house at least once a week for a couple of months. He goes to my back door and scratches it, howls, goes to the front door, repeat. One night, he got quiet so I thought he left, but I got up to get more wine, er, I mean, water, and he spotted me through the window and started to bark. That was the night I spent crawling around on my floor like a Navy Seal, albeit, a tired, slightly buzzed, deep pore cleaning facial mask wearing, navy seal. Last week I saw him coming in through a tunnel under our fence. I heard that he lived a few yards back from mine, so he must have made an elaborate series of tunnels to reach my door. I have dubbed his yard Shawshank, and mine Zihuatenejo.

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